The Three Woes We All Carry

 

I was actually going to write some blog posts on two books I currently read that left an unforgettable experience and mark on my memory but decided to hold off. Lately, I have been spinning in circles with life as I am sure many people have been. However, that’s common isn’t it? If life didn’t give you surprises and obstacles on a daily basis, then that’s not being truly alive is it? 

 

As humans, we are always racing against fleeting time and forget to take a step back and look at ourselves and where we are. What is fantasy and what is reality? The fantasized version our life is actually already given to us by society. We are supposed to have a happy family growing up. We are expected to attend at least 12 years of schooling after that we can choose to continue schooling or start working or attend trade school. Society expects us to be married by 27 or 28 years old, to have at least one kid before the high risk pregnancy period, to be good parents, to have a successful job of what we went to school for, and live comfortably. That’s the fantasized version of every human’s life but of course nothing goes as smoothly as they say. If everything went smoothly, then there would be less criminals, less pain, less headaches, less regrets, and less tears. Life is unpredictable as much as one may argue it is not. 

 

I feel we are always the unpredictable ones as many settle for things that are less than what we want regardless if it’s because of financial income, stability and security, or simply because we’ve given up. Many aren’t unfortunate enough to find a job that is related to what they went to school for. What they had dreams of doing and had a fierce passion for is smothered and buried in exchange for a stable source of income. We torture no one but ourselves when we grow weary and fed up with our jobs yet we all, even myself fear to take that first step to look for new hope. We have become too complacent. But yet who can we blame? I can understand why there’s some people who’ve been in jobs for so long that they turn so bitter and sour. But remember it’s up to us to not become bitter or sour but it’s easier said than done. No matter how strong willed we are, how good a person we are, it will wear us thin. It’s inevitable. If a job never wears us down, then no one would ever be quitting jobs to look for something better. Some people get pushed to the edge only once in their life and others may get pushed to that edge multiple times in their life, no one knows. What would you do if it happens to you? Will you hold onto a job for financial stability? Would you hold onto a job until you find another one and when is enough where you say you can’t take it anymore? Is it worth your mentality and sanity? Everyone is different.

 

Just as what kind of work we end up in is inevitable so are relationships. It’s hard to find someone who’s right for you and once you do, don’t let go. Media paints the perfect and imperfect relationships for us through the years and most of the times, it is the perfect relationship. However, no relationship is perfect. Every relationship has it’s hiccups if someone told you that’s not true then they are lying to themselves. The heart is the most unpredictable organ in the human body probably more unpredictable than the mind. As all things are born from the heart, what the heart feels sends it up to the brain to comprehend and do. No one can tell you how to maintain your relationship. They can only give you advice and it’s up to you to act on it or not. I believe relationships are the most torturous thing in life, sometimes it’s not only effecting the two parties but two families. Will you choose to compromise with each other? Will you stay with each other because you both have become too complacent? 

 

Not everyone is born into a perfect family. A family is a story within a story that carries with it the memories of pain and loss, love and hate that spans across generations. They say it doesn’t bleed onto the next generation but it does and it shapes us out to who we become. Some argue that their past or what type of family doesn’t shape them but it does because those are the roots you are born from. There is no shame in admitting where you come from because it doesn’t have to define you. You may carry some imperfections and the burdens but you are your own person. The choice is ultimately yours, no one can control your way of thinking in whatever direction you choose to take your next step in. Never forget where you come from. When is enough though? When do you decide your family has crossed the line into your life? How much family burden is too much? Who can be the judge of that? It’s impossible to calculate or give a clear answer to that question. Family is complicated. 

 

I’ve seen enough growing up and from personal experience and with friends how hard life can be. Everyone suffers from their own regrets, from their burdens, from their demons and ghosts from the past, and their wrong choices in life. When one person says they are alright and doing well, that’s only the surface, everyone has their own pandora’s box that they have locked away and they don’t want to deal with it. And that’s completely fine. I feel that it’s best to try our best to keep our heads high and do what we feel is right. Do what we must to keep pressing forward but to look back to see how far we’ve come and don’t lose that dream and passion. Again, easier said than done, right?