Sincere Apologies To My Dad

I have a job now and may be considered a horrible daughter today, until my mom reminded me that since I have a job, my first check should go to my father. Tell him that I have the ability and power to make a living on my own and help lift the burden from my mom's shoulders.

I never received the fatherly love I needed for too many years that I can no longer recall. My mother has done an amazing job of trying to be both to me though failing miserably in some ways. She was too stern, too unemotional---too stressed to ever put in real love for me. However, what I can say with my head held high and proudly is that--I never stopped loving my father and there was never a day that I didn't think of him. He was there spiritually in his own way. His voice always echoed in times of indecision and there were always words of encouragement.

I will give my first check to my father. Because I will never forget how many times, I stood in front of his grave and wished that he would help me find a job and I would repay my mother and him with what I earn. I am not a good daughter. I am really not because if she didn't remind me, I wouldn't have remembered this promise. I will buy the best flowers and food and make sure to thank him and ask for forgiveness for my loss in my word and promise.

I can finally tell him that he doesn't have to worry anymore about us. I will grit my teeth and work hard at this job I have. I'll have a death grip on it and do my best. I'll repay my mother for all she'd done all these years in place of my father and her sacrifice. I love you dad, and I will never forget those who took care of me in your place all these years. I will repay them because I owe them and so do you for leaving so soon.