Online Dating Thoughts

Online dating is such a controversial topic for many people. At the same time, it is also the only option that many busy adults have due to crazy work schedules and lives. Not every single adult works a 9-5 shift for five days a week. We don’t have time to go out and meet people. Sometimes all we want is a person who will fall for us, talk to us, capture our hearts and attention and yet it seems so difficult for us to come across that in real life.  Online dating may be unsafe, but I feel as long as we are careful and watch who we trust then it shouldn’t be an issue.

Many people think online dating is a dangerous and risky way of meeting people because you don’t know what their motivates are or if that’s how they really look like. You have to be careful of scammers, of bad people, and stalkers. However, online dating may be the only way for people who are naturally introverted or not as outgoing as they are in person. Online dating isn’t for everyone and I argue that it doesn’t take any less courage than meeting someone in person than online. It takes courage to post your pictures and information. It’s way more open than meeting someone online because with online dating you’re putting all this information online for whomever to see and you’re completely exposed like an open book. I don’t disagree with this and I have recently attempted meeting people online, which was a good and bad experience at the same time.

I’ve actually met a really nice guy whom was a huge conversationalist and he seemed like the perfect guy. We would have these amazing talks and our opinions, views, interests, and morals overlapped with each other to a frightening degree. I could see myself with this guy for a long time and have an endless list of things to talk about ranging from politics to social issues to personal things. However, he suddenly changed and said he thought he wasn’t the right guy for me due to a lack of experience in relationships and it would be hard for us to meet up. It pained me and I found it impossible to sleep for several days. I was so confused and lost. I didn’t understand what happened. But that doesn’t mean I am giving up. It takes time to find the right guy and even if one seems so right it may not be the fated one. A friend once told me that he believed we all had more than one soul mate in a lifetime. Some work out and some do not.

I have been doing some research on online dating sites and came across some that have caused me just to gawk and go like: ‘huh really? I never would have thought someone would come up with something like this.’ This only goes to show how frightening and creative a human mind can be. I’ve seen sites for gay dating, for lesbian dating, and there’s even one for affairs! Can you imagine finding out your wife or husband doing that? When I saw the one for affairs, I thought that was going a little too far because didn’t everyone marry for love rather than to have affairs? How much do you love your significant other if there are actually people who are looking for affairs when they should be home?

I understand if things are difficult and suffocating at home and you just want to get away and have some to rant to. However, have you ever thought of the emotionally and psychological trauma and pain you’ll cause to those who love you so much and have been through better and worst with you? There are other things you can do to release stress and relax such as yoga, reading at a coffee shop, or going to a forest preserve or a beach, or take a long walk. Relationships are all about compromising and understanding each other as well as being accepting of each other’s flaws and short points. Being able to yell and shout at each other when you want to vent and then look at each other and smile at the end of your little release. If you’re unable to do that, I think you are not fit for relationships and shouldn’t be with anyone. If you truly love someone, you should be willing to give yourself to them, to share all your thoughts and views with them and support them no matter how suffocating it is.

This also goes back to what I’ve learned from another friend and also in my own experience. If you live carrying the mindset of loving everyone no matter what, your love is unconditional and you give love to everyone who needs it or not then you will receive that love back. That’s the natural flow of the universe. What energy you give out is what you’ll receive in return. That is why I am foolish to fall for a guy unconditionally every time even if things never work out. However, I feel every time things don’t work out; I lose a part of something inside me. I don’t know if it’s my heart, my hope, or something but I do lose something and it can’t be mended no matter how much time passes. I am fine with that every experience makes me a stronger person. I only cannot stop wondering about the ‘what ifs and what could have been’.