Monday, December 15, 2014

Fate Is a Mysterious Thing


Fate sometimes is a very mysterious thing. Yesterday, I experienced quite a new and bewildering experience with a spiritualist. I’ve heard my share of how accurate spiritualists are to being able to foretell one’s fate and one’s journey in life from my mother and others. However, I’ve always been skeptical to the idea because there was always a shred of doubt I couldn’t let go of. Because I feel many of them are scammers or inaccurate. But this spiritualist stunned me and I am so dazed. My mother decided to take me to a spiritualist on my birthday yesterday.

I won’t go into massive detail but it was life changing to me. They were able to tell me things that even my own mother doesn’t even know about. He knew things I’ve told no one but a few and kept from my mom. I was appalled at that moment. My mind kept thinking: ‘how is this even possible? How does this man know?’ He did not ask anything nor touch me; it was so natural after he went into his meditation state.  I felt like I was standing in front of him like an open book across the counter. It was uncomfortable but I endured it. He spoke of my weak health since a child and that shocked me even more and he even mentioned which organs precisely. I was just in a daze after that. Thinking how is it this even possible?

He told me that I would meet a guy who will treat and treasure me very well in the future but not right now. It’s not the right time and if I attempted to start a relationship now it would fail. He also mentioned I would be financially well off and well known in the future. All of this continued to shock me even more and I still find that last part about the guy and money and everything hard to believe.

I feel that it’s the fact that I believe I don’t deserve any of that. I don’t deserve it. It’s not possible…it should be given and deserved by someone worthy. I just can’t get past my own denial.

The main point of this blog post today is that sometimes our fate is already written out for us whether we choose to accept it or not. It can of course be changed, altered or we can choose to be oblivious to it. However, I feel everyone’s fate is different and it can be changed with how we were raised. If what this spiritualist said is true, I will work hard to accept it and keep it in mind. But I feel the surprise is gone now…and all that is left is anticipation. Not that that is a bad thing. I can be on guard and be ready.

I also learned how strong a person’s mindset maybe and how foolish our stubbornness can be sometimes. I stubbornly believed the right guy had appeared in my life…and hearing it from the spiritualist that he has not appeared made me very upset. If I hadn’t heard that from him, I would have gone on strongly and stubbornly believing the right guy had appeared and was in the midst of my circle of friends. I still kind of do feel that he is but I don’t know anymore.  I will know when he comes I guess.

My aunt once said every life was different. Many people first must suffer a lot of bitterness at the start of their lives before sweetness comes years later and that is called bittersweet. There are some people who taste sweetness and happiness at the beginning of their lives but is swallowed by bitterness afterwards. She says that is the flow and nature’s order of fate and why and how it differs. She said that she didn’t even understand how it gets decided for each person. Fate is mysterious indeed.

I will have many restless nights now knowing what I know.  However, this insight from the spiritualist has allowed me to perfect myself and be an even better person if possible. I will keep being myself and see this journey of fate to the end. If it surely does turn out in the way he says it will, I will repay him with whatever I can and however I can. :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Mindset Can Change Anything


Hello! My name is Rekari and I'm a friend of Jae! She's given me the honor of writing on her blog. I haven't done much guest posting in my time as a writer, so I'm very happy to have the chance. I mostly write about anime and Japan, but today I wanted to discuss something a little different. Basically my views on mindset.

Contrary to popular belief, mindset can change pretty much anything. People may say it doesn't matter how you feel inside, but instead it's what you actually do. I completely disagree with this statement. I think that what you do is important yes, but if you aren't feeling or thinking well inside of your body, your actions outside will reflect this.

We can even relate this to the time a person has affections or feelings for another. They may try to act confident and be calm on the outside, but usually the inside is the opposite case. They're probably nervous, scared, and many other things. This reflects on their bodily behaviors and actions, such as playing with hair, sweating, stuttering, and more. Although this is not necessarily a positive example of how our mindset changes things, it's one most people can relate to.


Backing away from this, think about the fact that our brain is an important, if not the most important part of our body. We can live without a brain to a certain extent, but it's questionable if we are really alive. Now we cannot necessarily say our mind resides in our brain, but all over us, as our whole body is affected by our emotional and mental states. When it comes down to it, a lot of emotional and mental states are under our control. We cannot necessarily control what people do, but we can respond to what they do in a positive way. So like how we control our physical movements, we can control our inner self as well. Now how can we use this to our advantage? Basically by becoming more positive thinking, and eliminating negative thoughts.

If we change how we feel inside, even if it's gradually, it will start to change our outside as well. Have you ever seen how naturally beautiful people seem to have wonderful personalities? Or that many successful men and women are optimists? What about the quote that states "what's on the inside is what matters." All of these, directly or indirectly, point to the mind. The mind is a powerful thing which is why the mind should be constantly sharpened.

So when it comes to change, yes mindset can do it. Mindset can help you recover from deadly illnesses. Mindset can keep you sane when you have every reason to lose your sanity. Mindset can help you prevail through tasks you didn't even think were possible. Mindset can make or break you in life.


With this post in mind, it's best to take a look at yourself and see what mindset we may hold. Readers, do you view the world in a positive light or negative? Do you see things as black and white? What does life mean to you. For everyone, the answer is different, but it's not the difference that's important; it's the effect the view has on the person.

Some ways of thinking may make us feel powerless, so we don't necessarily need to change our personality, but change our approach and outlook. We need to see the potential and power that everyone holds, even ourselves. Once we can abandon the view that we have no power or control over things, we can truly become strong and rise up to any challenge. By taking hold of such a mindset, you can change anything.

A Few Extra Readings on Mindset


Sunday, December 7, 2014

December Is A Very Special Time of Year


I love the month of December. I was born in the month of December and there was always something about the bitter cold, the bitter silence during the gentle snowfall that always made me feel warm and in fall in love with. Many would say that those born in the winter months are unfeeling and unsympathetic towards others. However, I don’t think that is the case but in reverse, we are the most positive and warm people you’ll come across in my experience. It’s just that magical in my view.

I came across this photo for December and just wanted to share it. It’s a month of light and snow and feasts! A time where friends and family come together and enjoy the company and holiday season! Lights that will bring light on dark paths and light up anyone’s gloomy moments. I always loved the colorful holiday lights people hang up once Thanksgiving is over. It’s so symbolic and happy to see all those outlines of reindeers on lawns and beautiful Christmas trees in the windows.

I just love snow because it falls gentler than rain. It lands silently on the ground as if it fears awakening the sleeping inhabitants on earth. It’s purpose is to serve as a white blanket to cover the earth in during the brittleness of winter. It’s so pure, gentle, and peaceful that makes me wish to always hold the first experience of my first snowfall as a human close. It floats across the sky…endlessly until it decides to land on the ground. It can fly up from the ground with the slightest movement. It let’s us feel less alone in this world.

December being the last month in a year is also a remainder for us to make amends and tie up loose ends and finish up whatever goals you planned for yourself that year. It’s also when we hope that wishes that were made and efforts that were given would bring us some sort of fruit and closure. I love December.


This has been a rough year for me, too much has happened and my mentality and emotional states have gone through too much loss, surprise, and fulfillment. What I have learned is faces come and go in one’s mind. Friends come and go and nothing can last forever. What I do wish for is the bonds we make and memories of people will remain with us forever even if the actual people have long left us.

Monday, December 1, 2014

My Thankfulness For This Year


I must apologize at how late my Thanksgiving post is this time. I ran out of data on my internet at home and didn't feel like typing it up on my phone. This is better late than never because we should be thankful each and every day of our lives, right? 

I am most thankful this year for several people being in my life even if they are not thankful or grateful for me being in their lives. It doesn't matter to me even if its only one-sided. I am first most thankful and grateful for having such an amazing lady as my Aunt Ho Heung Lee. She is one amazing woman who raised me in my mother's place since I was very young. She taught me the morals she learned throughout her life. She was a very selfless woman and I can confidently say that if there was no her then there is no Ann today. Who knows how I would have turned out or where I would end up? I am forever in her debt and I have no idea how to thank her now that she is no longer with us. 

I am most thankful for E.V.  I once promised her i would never disclose her real name because she is huge on privacy so I will use her nickname a good friend gave her a few years ago. She and I met because we were both introverted types and bookworms in college. She is so intelligent and composed that I treasure her so much and shared so much with her. She and I shared a lot, and we both went through a lot and leaned on each other as much. I am proud to have her as such a precious friend. 

Next up is a very dear friend I've known for many years. He and I shared so much and recently things have been rather sour and bitter for us. Jams. He and I met in an online mmorpg and we connected slowly and then deeply. We were such good friends in my opinion. We were young...he was several years older but still young back then. We changed and grew as the years went on, and I can only say only friendship grew much stronger as time went on even if there were moments of tension. I believe we will remain friends regardless of what happens even if he does not think the same. I don't regret meeting him and going through so much with him even if he doesn't think the same of me nor remembers me anymore. 

Raccoon is a nickname I gave a person who is still very precious to me. He and I met during the summer at the place I worked. He appeared in my life during a time where I had decided to put down a one-sided crush for good at work I had for the past few months. I like to think it happened for a reason that he suddenly appeared so coincidentally for a reason. I have so much dreams and wishes I want to accomplish with him. I want to spend so much time with him. He was the first one to tell me that he liked me for a long time. I was stunned and devoted myself to him quickly. Many of you say that is so foolish but we shared a lot in a short period of three weeks. I felt like I knew him for so long and was so sure he was going to be the one. I still believe that regardless of how far we are from each other. We are just so similar it's frightening but warm to know as well. 

Lastly..is a friend Jams introduced to me recently. We are both writers and clicked so fast once we exchanged phone numbers. It was frightening for both of us. We connected so quickly and so deeply that it felt as if we found our other half. He is definitely what I will say is the better me if I didn't go through a lot of tremendous horrors and drama in my childhood. I will treasure him for a very long time because he is a one of kind guy and someone who knows me and i know him and yet at times we still claim we don't know each other. Confusing, eh? But he is special to me. 

My final words...is be grateful and thankful for all the people you meet in life. Please be grateful and thankful for all you experience because those people and experiences shape and change you for better or worse no one can say. What can be said is they're a part of us and will never fade. Bear your lessons and scars proudly and be thankful for them. :)



Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Writers All Tread a Thin Line



Lately, I have drowned myself in working on my writing projects selflessly. I have been sitting in front of my laptop whenever I have time and been lost in the worlds I created. Even if it feels so warm and not lonely and alive, I have been noticing some disturbing feelings and changes in me when I sit down and write for several hours a day. It’s not a bad thing, but I feel as if I can’t pull out as easily as I thought from the world I’ve spent hours in.

They say many writers are fighting depression or losing their minds because of something that happened in their lives. And there are many authors in history that are clear proof of that. Virginia Woolf who is one of my favorite female authors is one very good example of that.

I wouldn’t say that I am someone suffering from depression or losing my mind. Maybe I am but not that I am aware of. I just feel that lately whatever I am working on greatly affects me for hours on end. I feel like it’s almost impossible for me to pull back fully from the character’s state of mind. I don’t if I am them or myself if that makes any sense. It could be possible I feel too heavily influenced by the characters just spending too much time on them.

On to the main point of this post, I wanted to state that I feel writers too often tread along a very thin boundary line between being in the character’s mind and becoming the character themselves in reality. What are writers? Writers are the people who compose these amazing stories and create these characters that are easy to connect to and to understand. Writers tell a thousand stories, live a thousand lives, understand a thousand minds and yet cannot understand their own. I would be willing to bet anything that there are writers out there who are unable to draw a clear line of separation between themselves and their characters. They will say: ‘I am so and so.’

When you play a role for so long, been in a certain person’s mind too long, I feel that you can’t help but feel that a part of them has grown onto you and you are them in some ways. You’ve become inseparable and no longer see or know which is the real you and which is not. That’s why readers say authors are so influential or a character is so influential.

It’s such a phenomenal experience and state of mind to be in and that’s what I’m feeling right now. I guess that’s why lately I’ve been scaring some friends of mine. It’s because I’ve been too invested and emotionally affected by the stories I’ve been working on!

Monday, November 10, 2014

Thoughts on Voting



Voting has been a huge talk lately regardless of whether it's on television, or newspapers, or social media feeds, or blogs. I believe that it's important to not forget how much it others sacrificed for us to be able to vote especially for women. We should be thankful and grateful for the chance of being able to vote and state our opinions and hope the promises candidates made to us will become reality. If we were to go back further in history like ancient China, Japan, and Egypt, we should even be more grateful for being born in a time where opinions matter, right?

I am not against voting or anything. I am for it 100%. However, I cannot help but feel very disgusted at what I saw on television the past few weeks before the voting day came. There were advertisements of politicians attacking each other and nasty comments and messages about other candidates. I was like: ‘wait a minute. What the heck is this? It was like watching a bunch of school kids bullying and attacking each other over the prize.’ Do they really have evidence on the things they claim the one they’re accusing of doing? I am sure they do or not but how much of that is fabricated and how much of it is truth?

Did those who sacrificed themselves for equality in voting sacrifice themselves for this? Maybe I just don’t understand it. I apologize if I offend anyone who reads this post. The question is: What will those who have died for voting have to say if they saw how voting has become for the candidates and the voters?

My question is I wonder how many of the oaths and promises those who win the elections are going to keep and work to make come true? How many promises go forgotten once they go into office? How can anyone promise they won’t commit the same acts like the ones they accused others of doing?

Power sometimes goes to their heads and overwhelms them. Power causes them to forget what they wanted for the people and power blinds them to cause them to see only what they want and to bend matters to their advantages. I realize I am making this sound horribly dark and full of conspiracy, but I’ve lost my hope in politics and politicians all together a while ago. I don’t trust a thing they promise.

However, I still vote every time because voting is a privilege bestowed upon us after many lives were lost to make it possible. Not voting is disrespecting those who died for us to have this right.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween!




Hey, my lovely and spooky readers!! Happy Halloween to all of you! I hope that you all have a great day today and to stay safe at all times! Those of you who are trick or treating to get tons of candy, and those who are going out partying and drinking keep safe and don't do anything crazy. I've never really been trick or treating in my recollection. I've only gone a few times and it was fun. I love sour candies the best!!! Whenever I got those in my bucket I squealed like the happier kid alive. You'll never be me in sour candy eating contests hahaha. 

I just wanted to bring up something I witnessed on the bus this morning on my way to work. Holidays regardless big or small make people extra simple and kind and there really are no boundaries. A lady this morning was very nice to a woman and her child giving her child candy and also telling the mother where they should go trick or treating. They were talking like they were good friends and having a casual talk. 

I felt this is a rare sight to see. Because normally people kept to themselves in buses and trains, but sometimes all it takes is a simple gesture or first step to show that there is kindness and warmth in people each day. People aren't as uncaring or unsympathetic as some see them to be. 

That is why holidays bring out this warmth of sharing and caring, of sympathy and genuine kindness that comes from the hart to even strangers that just met. Who said Halloween is just about scary movies, costumes, drinks, and old folklore? All it takes may be a simple piece of candy and a friendly conversation to remind us there is warmth and sincerity all around us. Even if we don't show it on a regular basis.

Happy Halloween once again and cheers!