I haven't been able to be freed of my woes yet. However, I've come to a certain level of peace with myself. What's meant to be yours will be yours regardless of any hardships that may come. It will come back one day to the palm of your hand. My aunt once told me that a fruit you take by force from it's vine will be bitter and never sweet. In short my interpretation is when you force things to go your way or be yours will turn out badly. Everyone will be in pain and you're forcing your happiness on someone else's pain. I don't wish of that of those I love and care for. If anything that's the one thing, I understand well when I was growing up and going through experiences.
I always loved opening fortune cookies. When a child hears 'fortune cookie', they usually think maybe it's a magical cookie that can foretell your fortune. When an adult hears it, I usually hope there is a sentence of encouragement or a sign that will give me an answer to the question on my mind. If possible, I wish I had all the fortune cookies in the world to open up just so I could read all the papers. How many are exactly the same? How many actually hold the answer I am seeking? I know that isn't the point and won't be accurate.
However, I cannot do anything but wish selfishly that I can find an answer in the fortune cookie i reach out a hand to on the table. In my heart, I usually pray with all my heart and mind that it will hold an answer that I wish for. Many of the times I usually get a slip that makes no sense and that upset feeling overwhelms me. I usually arm wrestle people for more cookies and hope one will hold the answer I want. I wonder if that is taking a fruit by force?
But right now I only want a slip of paper from a fortune cookie and for it to tell me whether or not I've picked the right person to be dedicated to or are higher powers just testing and toying with me. I am worried if this time is an empty shelled dream....I won't be able to muster up courage to pursue someone again.