Yes, I lose all logic...


I may never understand what love is. And people I love may never understand why I love in such a fierce and stubborn way. I wouldn't describe it as fierce but it is similar to if I set my mind and heart to a guy, I think put my full attention on them and smother them with my passionate nature and feelings is more like it. I would never be unfaithful or loyal or even have a crush on another guy. Because this guy, I've set my mind and heart on is sucking all my love out of me into him. 

Recently--I've been faced with the matter of two guys who like me. One is an old high school friend and one is who I might at work. The difference between them is the one from high school is especially direct and blunt and so mature. We have much common and overlapping qualities we want in another half. The one from work is a bit less mature and more adventurous and young of course. But we are like a set of porcelain dolls with similar views, personalities and basically similar to the other guy. The thing is this younger one likes beating around the bush and and not saying what he means or feels directly. there has been a mixture of signs from him. The older one has already confessed his feelings for me and I just don't know what to do anymore. 

I feel like I'm running as fast as I can at the center of a Ferris wheel.  I cannot slow or stop my feelings for the younger guy and one side I feel guilt and lost with the older guy. They are both wonderful guys and I still can't decide. I am loyal to the younger even though the time we've known each other is short but I can see it to be amazing. 

I am sorry, I am all but logical right now and am able to decide. Time is chasing up to me and in another few years I will be thirty. How fast eh? I have lost all the pieces of logic in the world and I don't know where to pick them back up from. 

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