Etiquette On Tone and Phrasing


Think before you speak. I think that is one of the most important rules in life. This applies to where we go and whoever we speak to that was what my aunt once told me. And to speak only when addressed and needed. 

A lot of you may say that's total bologna and you choose to speak when you wish and as you please. Which is fine when the other person you are talking to does not think you are a douche or an arrogant person who has no basic respect and manners for them. 

We see this a lot now when we make calls to doctors' offices, call centers, or any other facility that you make calls to. The person on the other line tend to answer rudely or in a monotone that just tells you that they hate their job or they easily get irritated when you ask them to repeat some thing. Or it may have just been a stressful day. I understand that sometimes the fault doesn't fall only on one side. You may also be losing your patience and temper the longer something gets to be sorted. However, that does not mean you should lose your composure and calmness and raise your voice or insult the other person. You will get no where if you raise your voice to the other person nor will problems get solved any faster. But you are upsetting yourself and upsetting the other person. It's not their fault that something was messed up. Why ruin their day and yours? So why get worked up? Why get irritated? Why return impoliteness with impoliteness? Just take a deep breathe and try a different approach. 

Another scenario is in a work environment: you want to get something done and start bossing people around and you're  only a part-time worker. You don't say it in a nice way but in a blunt, forceful and know-it-all way that makes other people feel offended and irritated by it. Or you make comments about how slow people work or say it to their face. You may mean well and may only be stating facts but the other person may take it as you wanting to get rid of them, looking down on them, or just badmouthing them in the open. Many people get offended by that. Remember even if what you state is the truth, you need to phrase words or use different methods to show the person that in a nicer and less hurtful way. Because you will be working with them for a while, so why make it hard to get along with others? You may argue that using a nicer way to lecture them or whatever may not work. Well, then that's no longer your problem. If you exhausted all other ways then it's up to them to change. 

One last example that I wanted to use was actually something happened quite recently. The letter that Steve Harvey written and was seen by everyone. There was so much controversy on how the letter was phrased surrounding it. I understand that he was being ambushed and had very little time to himself at work and not having personal space is horrible. However, the way he phrased it just so rude and inconsiderate and unappreciative of those people that he worked with. He just remembered the endless invasion of personal time and space and forgotten all the support and help he received from them for the show. Would he have been able to carry out his show so successfully with all those TV personnel and makeup artists and so forth? He could have at least included a little thank you for all the help and support through the years at the end of the letter at least. 

Say things the right way and you will make friends for a lifetime. Approach people the wrong way with words and it could cost you a lot. Anything and everything we say- will be held accountable for and everything we say carries a certain weight and consequence. It doesn't matter if you are the president or an ordinary person. It's what you say and the way you say it that effects people. 





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