Father's Day ~
It's the day of the year again. Father's day. I never had a happy Father's day ever since my dad left me when I was two years old. Whenever this day would come around after I knew common sense, this would be a day where I spent in the cemetery for a few hours, reflecting, thinking, speaking to my father from my heart. While other families were celebrating with their fathers in restaurants and spending precious time at home, our home would always be mellow and still.
Today, my mother and I went to the cemetery at 8 am and met my aunt Lee and her two sons there. It has been years since I saw both of my older cousins and it shocked me to see them changed so much. White hair as white as snow when my older cousin was only 55. We actually hugged when was new for me and it felt really comforting. I don't know when I will see them again with our busy schedules.
I updated my dad on all that has been going on with me in life and sat for a long time in front of his grave. Cemeteries always gave me a sense of complete isolation from the outside world, silence and a single voice would shatter that peacefulness. I would love to go everyday and just sit with my dad watching the change of the skyline, the buzzing of bees, the flapping of a bird's wings, the sound of crickets, the gentle breeze again my body. Little need of words when everything is known and there is nothing left to say between us. I wonder if I will see him after I pass away. If we would be able to share long talks, to reminisce all those years I stood before his grave, all the letters I burnt to him.
I folded paper cranes this year and had them taped to the gravestones because the cemetery doesn't allow burning offerings anymore which totally suck. :( I wished there was waterproof paper so that if it rains, my cranes won't get destroyed.